Time is flying by…2 weeks left of work, 2 months till I go to Nepal. Am I ready?
Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready, but, I know my Heavenly Father has gone before me, and that’s one thing that gives me reassurance for this trip.
Going through the transition period has been quite tough. As I’ve been passing on my responsibility and taking a step back it sometimes leaves you feeling rather lost at times. Floating somewhere, as life drifts by. Neither here nor there. Feeling guilty and lazy for just being rather than doing. It’s a strange place to be. The place of waiting, dwelling, resting and patience. Trying to actively wait on God.
I’ve been getting inspired by how God is using Heidi and Rolland Baker, one thing that she said is: “more is accomplished by spending time in God’s presence than by doing anything else”. Simple. Everything comes out of soaking in His presence, knowing His heart, hearing His voice – from knowing our Creator. When life’s busy and we’re always thinking about the next thing it can be hard to just dwell in God’s presence with no agenda. I read this picture that a guy had and it made me stand back and think: do I use Jesus as a vending machine?
“This is a huge party in a beautiful mansion. You can tell there is a crowd having a great time. Laughter…glasses are clinking…confetti. They are celebrating the miracles of Jesus. Enjoying the wine…the healing…joy…party!
Jesus, however, is sitting outside on a bench…a beautiful garden..at a pond. He is sitting quietly in the dark. Only a few join Him quietly on that garden bench. Enjoying His presence for who He is. Not worrying about what He can give them. Knowing that the true miracle is in intimacy with Him rather than the miracles.
All of a sudden I saw a guy yelling from the party: Eh, Jesus, we need some more wine! …and a foot to be healed!
Party..miracles..go get yours…Jesus… the vending machine…”
I want to be one of those sitting on the bench with Jesus. Enjoying His presence. Just being with the Creator of the universe.
Over these next months, I want to learn to be with God with no agenda. When I’m soaking in God’s presence, to have a one track mind and only think about Him rather than anything else. I long to seek and desire God more, and to hear what He’s got planned for me. It says in Jeremiah 29: 13 “you will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart”. I’m still not entirely sure what I’ll be doing in Nepal but I want to be available for God to use me and for His name to be glorified through me.