Lately, as I’ve settled into Nepalese life, I’ve found the only secure place is to run into my Heavenly Father’s lap. A place of love and safety as He throws His arms around me and keeps me close to Him. I’ve felt vulnerable, lost, and alone as everything I’ve had purpose in, security in and known has been wiped away. It’s been quite an emotional and painful time recently. But knowing and seeing God provide, watch and look out for me, even in the smallest of things, is so reassuring, touching, and makes me feel super special inside. Also, it’s such a blessing knowing that I’ve got loads of amazing friends and family who love and support me. It’s incredible and I’ve been so overwhelmed by it all. I’ve felt totally loved and special.
Over these last couple of weeks, I’ve been eager to hear from God about what He’s called me to do. I’ve spent time in the prayer room seeking and dwelling in His presence, waiting on God. But when I hear the tender voice of the Father whisper in my ear saying “do you trust me? How much do you trust me? For I will guide you…all you need to do is trust me”, is totally reassuring. It brings a peace within and settles any doing mentality, and allows me to stop and go at God’s speed.
Dwelling in God’s presence is incredible, but, can also be painful as He exposes, convicts and reveals things within that need dealing with and seeking forgiveness about. But, to be refined and moulded by the Father is a privilege, even if it is extremely hard. As I surrender I gain more life in Jesus. I allow Him to take His rightful place and for His name to be glorified. I’m learning to humble myself before The Creator of the Universe as He works within me. I feel so undeserving and unworthy of God, but I’m completely overwhelmed by His incredible love.
At the moment my heart cry is from the song, See your face by Housefires:
I want to see your face
I want to know your heart
I want to walk with your every day of my life
As well as seeking God I’ve spent time loving the kids at the children’s home by played football and drawing and colouring with them. It’s been great to give them your time and show them, with your actions, that they are special and loved. The kids are great and so so amazing! Also, we have been serving in an extremely poor slum area which has about 150 families living there. It’s immensely hard to see people living in those conditions and makes your heart extremely grateful for the little things, like having a tap in your house for clean, running water. But it has been such a privilege to love and pray for them. Also, it’s been a real honour to evangelising with some amazing girls (who are currently being taught at the bible school which the guys at the prayer house are running) who are sharing the gospel confidently to those that we meet, as well as teaching me some Nepalese. The guys have also been loving them by working extremely hard to build some toilets. Digging, Nepalese style, massive holes and building bamboo structures, which on one of the day I was able to help with which was awesome.
I’ve also been finding a new sense of joy in the simplest things of life: buying cooked corn on the cob off a little business off the street; bargaining for a taxi and getting a good price; jumping on a tutuk and a bus, and finding that there is hot water for a shower!
It’s all about the simple joys of life.